The power of positive self-talk… and why we forget to use it when we need it most

By Stephen Eccles – Sport and Exercise Psychologist (In Training) | Inner Launch 

We all talk to ourselves and thankfully, we’ve we’re beginning to see how this is a normal part of being a human. Actually, what we are understanding is that when we’re under pressure, it is more likely that our inner voice starts to become critical. Let’s face it, we’ve all probably experienced the judgment of our inner voice and I find it so interesting how, the moments where we need positive self-talk, they are the occasions where we seem to forget how useful it can be.

Why Positive Self Talk Matters:

The stories we tell ourselves shape our perception, our confidence and ultimately, our behaviours. In essence, the way we talk to ourselves shapes our ‘inner environment’ and how to manage challenging situations. It’s why this has proven to be so important in elite sport. For example, Sanya Richard Ross (Olympic Gold Medallist) speaks about the power of positive self-talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBWGfYatMLY). She explains that “She fought the voice saying ‘You didn’t do it in 2008’ and used self-talk to come back and say ‘That’s right, but I’m doing it today.’ Her story illustrates how your brain listens to the story you repeatedly tell it.

Why we forget to use it:

I want to take a moment to say that as powerful as positive self-talk is, there’s a key reason why negative self-talk is so common. When we’re stressed, we slip into survival-mode thinking. You may have heard the phrase fight, flight or freeze – in this state, our brain prioritises protection, not reflection. Our prefrontal cortex (the part involved in reasoning and planning) becomes less dominant, while the threat system becomes more active.

In other words, our ability to think clearly is reduced, which means the inner critic often gets louder. It’s the brain’s way of trying to keep us safe: reminding us of past failures, scanning for danger, and pushing us away from anything that feels risky.

However, with practice, we can train ourselves to stay steadier under pressure, quieten the threat response, and engage in more supportive, constructive self-talk – even in stressful moments.

Small Shifts that make a big difference:

The small shifts can start when we begin to recognise the inner critic. We can respond and reframe a thought into something that is supportive, but most importantly, we need to repeat it until it becomes a habit. Now this may take some time, but here’s a few examples of the impact it can have:

• Athletes reframing “Don’t mess this up” → “You’ve trained for this.”
• Solicitors shifting “I’m not good enough for this case” → “I’ve handled tough cases before and have been successful.”

In conclusion, your inner voice is always talking – the question is whether it’s helping you or holding you back. Today, choose to make it your ally.