Where’s all your time really going? (And what’s it costing you?)

Written by Annette Steele – Consultant | Co-Creation Group

Time is the one thing we can never get back, yet we give it away constantly.

And that, in itself, is something worth noticing.

In a world wired for speed, where productivity is often prized above presence, the most human thing we can do is pause, look someone in the eye, and offer them the gift of our undivided attention. That’s not just good manners. That’s leadership.

At Co-Creation, we talk a lot about mindset, presence, and culture. But underpinning all of that is this: the moment someone chooses to spend time with you, they’re making an investment. And they’re trusting you with something finite.

So what are you doing with that trust?

Time is Life, On Loan

Think about it: someone’s time isn’t just a few spare minutes squeezed into a diary.

It’s a slice of their life, handed to you instead of spent on rest, family, or their own priorities. Whether it’s a coaching session, a feedback conversation, or a walk-and-talk to untangle a messy challenge — when someone gives you time, they’re saying, “You matter to me right now.”

That’s not transactional. That’s deeply human.

A Personal Reflection: Sorry, Not Sorry

As I’ve got older, I’ve noticed something about how I spend my time outside of work. My circle of friends has naturally got smaller. I’m more selective (sorry, not sorry!) about who I spend my spare time with, and I now plan it more intentionally. My calendar has become a way of protecting space for the people who matter most to me.

A few years ago, my Mum and I were visiting her sister—my Auntie—in Phoenix, Arizona. We were having a lovely lunch on a sunny terrace when my mobile vibrated on the table.
I glanced down, and up flashed a calendar notification: Phone Mum.

My Mum (not too familiar with mobile tech) looked at me and said, “Why do you need to phone me? I’m right here!” Before I could mumble an answer, my Auntie burst out laughing and said, “Busted! Annette has a reminder set to call you!”
Mum looked a bit hurt at first, until I asked, “Do you like it when I call you?”

She nodded and said, “Yes, of course.”
“Well,” I replied, “if it wasn’t in my calendar, Mum, it might never happen!”

We all laughed, but the truth is, it stuck with me. Not because I got caught out, but because it reminded me that even with people we love, our attention isn’t guaranteed.

We have to choose it.
Make room for it.
Protect it.
Honour it.

Presence Is a Choice, Not a Calendar Slot

As we all know, it’s easy to show up physically but still be somewhere else entirely, scanning emails, half-listening, already onto the next thing. But when you really show up for someone, something shifts.

They feel seen. They feel heard. They feel valued.

And as any leader knows, those feelings are the foundation of trust, performance, and belonging.

Being present doesn’t require more hours in your day. It just asks that, when you’re with someone, you’re with them. Fully.

“It’s not how much time you give — it’s how much of you you bring to the time you have.”

Leadership That Leaves a Legacy

The leaders I remember most aren’t the ones with the fancy slides or the greatest job title. They’re the ones who made me and others, feel like we mattered.

That’s what happens when you treat time as a gift rather than a given.

So if you’re leading a team, here’s something to try this week:

• Put away your phone during 1-2-1s or team conversations. Make eye contact. Let people know they have your full attention.
• Start or end meetings with a “thank you for your time.” It seems small, but it lands big, especially when it’s sincere.
• Block time for people, not just tasks. Don’t let your calendar only reflect outputs. Protect space for informal chats, thinking time or check-ins.
• Be the one who initiates. Schedule a walk, a coffee, or a 10-minute Zoom to say, “How are you, really?”
• Use micro-moments well. Even a quick WhatsApp message saying, “I appreciated your input today” can make someone feel valued.
• Create ‘no meeting zones’ or deep-focus hours for your team. Giving people time back is just as powerful as spending it with them.
• Ask a better opening question. Swap “How are you?” for “What’s been energising you this week?” and really listen.
• Review who gets your time and why. Who are the people who leave you energised, challenged, inspired? And who are the ones you keep giving your time to, even though it only ever leaves you drained? This isn’t about being unkind. It’s about being honest. If someone consistently brings only negatives and no growth, maybe it’s time to gently but firmly reduce how much space they take up. Your energy is finite. Use it wisely.

These small, intentional actions create a ripple effect. Because when your team sees that you value their time and yours they start doing the same for each other.

Presence spreads. And so does respect.

Giving Time, Growing Trust

When you give someone your time — really give it, without agenda — you do more than support them. You inspire them. You remind them that what they’re saying, feeling or wrestling with matters.

That’s leadership in action. Not in a handbook, but in a heartfelt and authentic way.

And here’s the bonus: when you lead this way, others follow. Time-given creates time-gifted in return. You shape a culture where generosity, curiosity and connection are part of the everyday rhythm. A team that feels this from you will be more likely to offer it to each other and to your clients, your stakeholders, and themselves.

Your Leadership Challenge

This week, I’d encourage you to notice who’s giving you the gift of their time.

Ask yourself:

• Did I treat that moment like it mattered?
• What might shift if I showed up just 10% more present next time? And when you find someone who’s made space for you in their packed world, please say thank you. Out loud. With intention.

Because the people who give us their time? They’re shaping who we are, moment by moment.

Let’s make those moments count.